I haven't been on here in ages, life is crazy busy and there are many times I think about documenting things for the kids so they have the memories later but eh life is happening and never in a million years did I think these teens years would be so chaotic and on the go, but here we are. Unfortunately we blinked and so now we have 4 teenagers and two who will be leaving home in a few short years. I say it a lot, oh what I would give for the sleepiness nights with 4 at 2 and under, those days now seem easy but oh my what a fun ride these kids are taking us on.
This week, I knew what was coming, my dad's angel day. What I did not want to think about was that is has been 10 years since he passed. It is always an emotional week for me but I have been trying to focus on the good and knowing that we are not the ones that gets to write our life story, we can only embrace what we have and make the most of each chapter.
So much has happened in 10 years, so many times I have thought of him and wondered what he would think.
In 10 Years:
- 10 years of birthdays he did not get to celebrate
- 10 years of the kids birthdays that he has missed
- 10 years of sports that he missed of the kids
- 10 years of Farmer's Fair he has missed, he loved visiting with friends
- 10 years of no phone calls to hear the same story each time, oh what I would give for one of those
- 10 years of remembering his stories with friends we have seen along the way
- 10 years of knowing he is at peace with life
- 10 years of watching NASCAR with Caden and thinking of him
- 10 years of not being able to tell him that I appreciate all he did when I was a kid because man this parenting thing of running them everywhere is hard
- 10 years of holding onto and wearing a vintage Bengals because LONG ago it was his - I bet he would have A LOT to say about the last few years for the Bengals
- 10 years of wondering if our lives together would have eventually been different and if we could have had a better relationship in my adult era
- 10 years of seeing a sand dollar and remembering our trips to the ocean to find them
- 10 years of watching for the rainbows to know he is there and watching over us
- 10 years = 3,652 days or 87,660 hours of not being able to change our relationship but yet having to make peace that he knows I love him and that I am sorry it could not be different