I miss not knowing he is here, even if we were not talking when he passed.
I miss the times I would look up in the stands and see him at my softball games.
I miss going to the softball park while he umpired, I came home a filthy mess but hey I spent the night playing in the dirt watching softball and eating too much from the concession stand.
I miss the days when he would call and talk about the races and did we watch and what did we think, even if it was the same conversation week after week, it was a conversation.
I just miss knowing that if I wanted to I could pick up the phone and call him, get in the car and go visit him, but I cannot.
What can I do, I can look through the memories and be grateful for the chapters he wrote in my life. They are not all easy nor rosy, that is okay, they are who make me, me - the wife, the mom, the softball coach, the baseball mom, the soccer mom, the friend, the team leader, the one who gets up each day and says, "it is time to kick today's butt" - all of the Trina's are coming to the party and that is in part because of my dad. I hold onto the great ones, I file the not so great ones and I am grateful he was my dad. And I miss him.
I hope he has had a wonderful heavenly birthday, I know I have felt him and seen his messages lately.
Hug your family, make some memories and appreciate the chapters of your life that are being written each day. We do not know the plan that has been laid but when we take it and embrace it life is a bit easier.
Happy Birthday Big Jer aka Rainbow aka My Dad!
|Dad, Erica and I|
|Dad and Grandma Ramey on one of our many vacations|
|Dad LOVED taking naps!|
|More vacation fun|