I miss my dad...

Today, April 26th, is my dad's birthday and I truly miss him.  He would have been 68 today.

I miss not knowing he is here, even if we were not talking when he passed.
I miss the times I would look up in the stands and see him at my softball games.
I miss going to the softball park while he umpired, I came home a filthy mess but hey I spent the night playing in the dirt watching softball and eating too much from the concession stand.
I miss the days when he would call and talk about the races and did we watch and what did we think, even if it was the same conversation week after week, it was a conversation.
I just miss knowing that if I wanted to I could pick up the phone and call him, get in the car and go visit him, but I cannot.

What can I do, I can look through the memories and be grateful for the chapters he wrote in my life.  They are not all easy nor rosy, that is okay, they are who make me, me - the wife, the mom, the softball coach, the baseball mom, the soccer mom, the friend, the team leader, the one who gets up each day and says, "it is time to kick today's butt" - all of the Trina's are coming to the party and that is in part because of my dad.  I hold onto the great ones, I file the not so great ones and I am grateful he was my dad.  And I miss him.

I hope he has had a wonderful heavenly birthday, I know I have felt him and seen his messages lately.
Hug your family, make some memories and appreciate the chapters of your life that are being written each day.  We do not know the plan that has been laid but when we take it and embrace it life is a bit easier.

Happy Birthday Big Jer aka Rainbow aka My Dad!

 

Dad, Erica and I 

Dad and Grandma Ramey on one of our many vacations

Dad LOVED taking naps!

Birthday Celebrations!

More vacation fun

One more sleep and a MILLION emotions!

One more sleep and then I am on my way to the event that scares me, excites me and makes me proud.

It's time - the Disney Princess Glass Slipper Challenge is here FINALLY!  We have only been planning and training since sign ups in June!

I am honored to be a part of an amazing team for such an amazing cause.
I am EXCITED to prove to myself I can do 19.3 and as Brooke requested, not die from pushing myself.
I am thrilled my momma will be there to cheer me on but sad the kids and hubby will be watching from home.  I cannot wait to share the excitement of the race and day with Haley, our moms and mother in law.
I am grateful for all of the support, whether a donation, a training run or just a good luck it is appreciated more than you know.
I am exhausted, between getting things together to make home life easier and trying to remember all I need to pack it has been some very long days.
I am overwhelmed as there is still so much to do, including wrapping up this work thing because I refuse to take my computer this weekend.
I am appreciative of my hubby for allowing me to do this and to give me the ability to go for 5 days for fun, runs and sun.  It takes a lot to manage this amazing kids we have and I know they all will be great.
I am proud of myself for taking the time to do this and for finding a team that is doing so many wonderful things for so many deserving families.
I am READY or I will be when I finally pack my suitcase tonight but physically I am as ready as I can be.  I ran more miles in January than I ever have in one month of my life.  Sure I could have had a few more long runs but as a working mom with 4 kids and a million things to distract me I am as ready as I will be!

So one more sleep, I hope it's more than just a few hours but I am sure my nerves will kick in and I won't sleep much.

If you would still like to support the fight against Rett Syndrome you can do so here:
Trina's GSC to Cure Rett Syndrome

You can follow along during race day, races start early and some of you will still be in bed when I finish but we will capture it all in photos to share.  Here is the link to sign up for tracking:
Disney Princess Race Tracking

I cannot thank everyone enough, I truly am so grateful and appreciative of all of the support.

I will do this and I will see you all at the finish line!  Disney here we come!

Gone far too long but always in our hearts

Let's rewind to January 14th, 2016, it was a horribly crazy week at work, I was on day two of three of all day meetings and preparing for a weekend work trip.  To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement but something stopped me in my tracks that day and made me appreciate everything I have in my life and everyone who is woven into my fabric of me.   I was taking a mental time out at work, you know checking in on the social media world.  Those silly Facebook memories popped up and said, "I can't believe it's been 10 years since Grandpa Horstman has passed." WHAT and that was 6 years ago I wrote that on my page!  Tear flowed down my face and I just stopped.  That 10 years is now 16 years since we had said so long to him and yet I can remember it all like yesterday.

I have been blessed to have amazing grandparents and also saddened that they are no longer here to enjoy these little creatures who run our world.  There are many times where I imagine the conversations they are having with my grandparents and yet it hurts my heart to now that they have influenced my kids but yet cannot see their influence in their lives.

When Maggie made the perfect icing for our Christmas cookies, which is Grandma Horstman's recipe, I smiled and knew Grandma was right there in the kitchen with her.  When we took those yummy cookies to Aunt Marie and she remembers them I smiled because once again she and Grandma Ramey loved those cookies.

When the kids and I go shopping, yes even the boys, I see Grandma Ramey and Granny Cool influencing them and their shopping habit, those woman could shop like no other.  Making decisions and weighing each one.  My kids amaze me on their detail to pull together outfits and I know they are there.

When we laughed at Thanksgiving because Jill had the kids upstairs having a dance party and we knew that if Grandpa Horstman was there he would be yelling at us to stop, we let it go and the dance party was a hit for all!  Oh we knew he would want it to stop but hearing everyone talk about him telling us to stop was enough for the stories to flow and the memories to show he was there.

There are so many stories and instances, even in the few short years I knew Matt's grandmothers, there are pieces of them in their day too.  Maggie wants to learn to sew and oh how I wish Lois was here to show her, they would go toe to toe in opinion but she would definitely teach her and be proud of her.

I have truly been blessed with some of the most amazing grandparents in my life but I miss them.  I miss them a ton.  We talk about them a lot and all of the great memories.  I love when the kids ask questions about them.

If you still have grandparents living, hug them tight.  Visit them often and tell them thank you if they have influenced your life.  Whether 16 years since Grandpa Horstman passed or only 2 for Grandma Ramey it still makes me sad but I know they are all watching over us each and every day.

The kids and I visiting with Aunt Marie, delivering our yummy cookies

My last photo with both Grandma and Grandpa, college graduation December 1999

Grandma Ramey, Aunt Marie and I at my college graduation December 1999