It's OFFICIALLY back to work for Ricki!

Well little sister, it is your official back to work day after maternity leave and I hope you are having a great day!  Yes I know you "officially" returned last Friday but I am considering this one your official day since everyone else is where they are supposed to be as well.

She tried to return last Friday but poor Myles decided he needed some more time with mommy and daddy and came down with a fever that kept Erica and John home with him alone for a few more days. 

Hey little man, next time just ask - no fever needed - but seriously we are so glad you are feeling better and that everyone could have their "TA DA" day that was planned for last Friday.

Big brother Maddox was so excited for you to go to Becky's with him, I sure hope he did not complain when he had to go off to school for a few hours today.

Step by step, hour by hour, that is how I recommend you transition back into a working life while balancing a newborn, husband, another child and just way too much to do at home.

I all too well remember both times I returned to work after maternity leave. The first time, it was Valentine's Day 2008, and after being home 11.5 weeks I had to go back, I cried the entire way to work, got through it the best I could and smiled the entire way home just so excited to see those two little faces.

 

Next came returning to work after almost 13 weeks off with Mallory and Cale, this return was that much harder. 

I did not want to leave, I was happy here at home with just my babies, taking walks and keeping up with chores, but I had to go back - and I made it - Ice cream, apple pie, jeans and a few cries!. 



 

We make it through, just as I know you will make it and all of the other ladies who have to return to work and leave their babies in the care of others, balance the chores of the house, find some quiet time for yourself, make date time for your hubby and most of all savor the time with your family. 

No one ever said it was easy being a mom, no one can quite explain how rewarding it is to be a mom, no one can truly prepare you for the first day back to work, no one can know exactly how you feel but I can tell you this, it is not easy, it will make you stronger, you will have meltdowns but in the end you will make it through and each day will get a little bit easier.  Sure we will have set backs and routine changes and nights with no sleep but we keep going, it is what we do, it is what our families need and we are strong - Erica you are strong! 

So Ricki, remember, you are a great momma, you are a great teacher, you are a STRONG person.  You can do this and I know you will be great!
Welcome back - I know they missed you at school and just know I am here whenever you need me.
Love you lots!

A sweet moment and an accomplishment

Two things I need to record that happened yesterday.

First: as we were sitting down to eat breakfast Cale and Mallory were at the table.  Cale was sitting there eating his yogurt and I did not think he was paying attention to anything but his yogurt however I was wrong.

Mallory sits down and as she usually does she says, "push me mommy" meaning to push in her chair but before I could even get over there Cale jumped down and said, "I do it Mallory" but his Mallory comes out Mawory - it is very cute.  He pushed himself out, jumped down and ran over to help out his big sister.  She thanked him and began to eat her breakfast.  Just a sweet little moment by my little man who is growing up quickly.  He really is a sweetheart.  He is a stinker but he is a stinker with a sweet side.

Second: Maggie learned to swing herself.  Matt and I were off to the Bengals game and were not there to see it but they were playing outside on the swing set and I believe Miss Natalie had a lot to do with it and taught Maggie how to pump on the swing.  Maggie was so proud she called me this morning as I was heading to the airport to tell me that she learned to swing!  I am proud of you Maggie and again you have shown mommy you are growing up quickly!

You are also the only person I know whose jeggings were baggy!  I am not kidding this kid picked out jeggings to go with a new sweater the other day so I grabbed a size 4, they looked like they would fit but they are too BIG!  What are supposed to be tight skinny jeans are baggy!
God love you my skinny child! 

I love you both, I am proud of and all that you do and are accomplishing in your lives!  I hope you continue to amaze me for years and years to come!

10 Years of Wedded Bliss!

Ten years ago tomorrow, October 10th, I said, "I Do" to my best friend and the wonderful father of my four children.  Ten years - wow!  Seems like yesterday I stressed over wedding planning and making everything just right.  Ten years of ups and downs, joys and sorrow, trials and triumphs and four kids in two in a half years - WOW!

I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. 

It was a beautiful, warm and sunny day in October.  The place, St. John's the Baptist Church in Harrison Ohio.  Surrounded by our family and friends.  Embraced by our wedding party and those who were part of our day, thank you to each of you: Erica, Rachel, Jenny, Sara, Emily, Denise, Amber, Adam, Dusty, Scott, Hooper, Brian, Kurt, Aaron, Dan, Michael, Brad, Mandy, Aunt Connie, Aunt Cheryl, Tricia, Sarah, Alexis, Kasey, Jacob and Mason!  To our parents, thank you for the support, emotionally and financially to make our day possible. 

It was wonderful.  I remember being so excited, so into the mass, laughing at our four little people - Kasey throwing her pedals in the air, Mason and Jacob eating the beads out of their boutonnieres, looking out to see our family and friends there to witness our union, looking at Matthew during the ceremony thinking, "I cannot believe I am this lucky to be marrying this man today," enjoying an evening on the dance floor, a HUGE thank you to Jenny Klem for our photos that captured every moment, grateful that Emily made me take a minute to look around and take it all in, thankful that Uncle Bob drove us back to the hotel - with a pit stop for gas in our car, SO grateful that Tricia and Courtney came to rescue me out of my dress, and just being HAPPY.  Happy to the core of my soul...

Ten years, some days I still feel young, others I feel old but when I look back at our wedding day, we were young.  We had no idea what plans were in store for us, what goodness God would grace us with.  We knew we loved each other and that we could not wait to be married. 

When I think back to that day, the only part I hate, that my grandma Horstman did not make it to that day physically, but I know she was there, it started the traditional of all the girls wearing grandma's onyx ring on their wedding day.  I still remember in April of that year, she told my mom, she needed two dresses to go with one pair of shoes, Daniel and Tammy were getting married that May as well as us in October and she could not possibly wear the same dress to both weddings.  Sadly, she did not see either one of us get married, oh I so wish she did and I miss her so much.  I would give anything to watch her with my kids, I do not know who would laugh more, her or I.  I do know she would tell me I have my hands full but that I can do it. 

But today is not about being sad, it is about celebrating ten wonderful years.  There have been many travels, sporting events and outings galore, holidays in every home, two companies for me - three for Matthew, two houses, six different cars, two Harleys, and best of all four beautiful children and twelve fabulous years of being together.  It has not always been an easy road but it is definitely a road worth fighting for and to continue to build strong.   

Bubby, I cannot wait to celebrate the next ten years with you. 

Hold on, I have a feelings these kids will give us a run for our money but I would not have it any other way. 

 

I love you more than burritos - forever and ever.

 

Happy Anniversary Matthew, thank you for making me your wife. 

Here is to a great day at Keeneland with our family and friends! 

 

Oh we were young, not really 25 and 26 but still I feel old right now!

 

 One of my favorite pictures from the day, I have no idea at what part of the ceremony it was but I love that I am looking at Matthew and he is smiling, I am sure that Father Shine was saying something about being a great husband and always doing as I say!

 

 I warned Matthew to not smash the cake in my face - but I got him instead.  Love you honey!

And our four reasons to smile and remain strong - I love my monsters!  T

hank you Matthew for your willingness to go through what we did to get them! 

These kids make me laugh everyday!

 

The 6 Cools Summer 2012

Feeling for those students...

Over the weekend the kids of East Central lost a classmate, a young boy who was on the soccer team.  I personally do not know Jacob or his family but unfortunately I know what the students are all going through with this tragic loss and I feel for them all.  I feel for my young cousin who is a classmate and has known Jacob for a very long time.

Way too soon we have lost friends, we do not know the answers as to why, we may never know but I know how bad it hurts and how even after many, many years of them being gone they are not forgotten.  Adam, Robyn, Tommy, Jeff and Rod to name just a few but there are many more, they were all taken way too soon in life.  If I continue the list I may get sick because it is way too long.

I have other classmates who have passed and know other young kids who have passed, it is never easy.  It really is sad now that I think of all of the young lives I have known that have left too soon, I just cannot believe I know that many.  Even as I get "older" knowing of those who have left behind their children and spouses or their parents and siblings, it never makes sense and still is not any easier.

I do not know God's plan but I know in this small town we live in all of those who knew Jacob or know someone who knew him will rally around, show their support and love and make sure that he is never forgotten.  It truly is unfortunate that these kids will have to go losing a friend.  I have been watching the out pouring of love and support on facebook and it makes me proud to be an alumni of East Central and a member of the small town.  These kids are rallying, they are supporting the soccer team, it is branching across rival high schools, just as it was when Adam died, and it surely does not make it easier but somehow it makes it stronger to know that they are all pulling for each other and trying to figure out what happens next. 

Our town is small, that's all there is to it so tragedy like this touches everyone. I know that many, many people across the world are hurt by the loss of a young life everyday and each time I hear this on the news I feel for them.  No one can replace those loves, jokes, smiles, teammate high fives, and just a good time of being with friends.

I have great memories of all of my friends who have passed, they all touched my life in a special way and I will never forget them.  I will never know why it was their time but I know they made an impact while they were here.

All I know for sure is we can live for today, hug our loved ones, tell them how much we care, forgive when we need to and have no regrets. 

Stay strong family and friends of Jacob, stay strong - my thoughts and prayers are with you all during this time.  Remember the good times and celebrate the life that touched many.

How do you know?

How do you know that what you are doing as a parent is enough to raise them right? 
How do you know if your children and family truly know how much you love them? 
How do you make sure that you are doing the right things by your family? 
How do you know that when you make the choices you do that they will not hurt later?
How do you know that you have not loss all sense of the true you in trying to be the best you that you want to be in your career?
How do you know that they will always be okay?
How do you know that you have done enough preparation for whatever comes your way?
How do you know?????

I wonder about a lot of things, I may never get the answers I expect or need but I know that is what prayer and guidance is for but it doesn't stop me from wondering.

I miss my family, I hate that I cannot be home with them all tonight.  I will really miss my husband but I know he is off on his guys weekend so I will enjoy my weekend with my kiddos.  I have no expectations other than snuggling on the couch while watching movies tomorrow night.  I pray my travels are uneventful and safe. 

As I tried to lay down and go to sleep my mind would not stop, it wants to know, "how do you know?" 
I know deep in my heart that it is not always the right decision or choice, you cannot change what you do but you can learn and grow from everything. 
I know that I am not always perfect, no one is but I try hard to do what is right. 
I know that at times I let the stress get the best of me, but I try not to let it happen, I guess I need to try harder. 
I know that I love my family more than they will know.
I know that I miss my friends, you know the ones that are there when you need them but that you never get to spend enough time with because life happens.  Thank you for not giving up on us.  I need to know you all are there and never far away.
I know that I wish I had more time to do it all, but I don't so it is about balancing and trying to make the most of everything and letting go of some things.

I know that tomorrow night I will be home and the world will look so much better. 

Until then, sleep tight my little ones, momma loves you and cannot wait to see you. 
Bubby, have a great time, you appear to be ready with chips and beer for the weekend.  We love you and hope you enjoy your birthday - by the way this is the first one in 12 years where you will be away.

Spending some time in Omaha

This week I am privileged enough to travel to beautiful Omaha, Nebraska - where ConAgra's headquarters is located.  I am excited to be able to take a part in the class this week and I am catching up on email for sure however, traveling is not easy for me at all. 

Mentally, I worry about the kids behaving for Matthew or whoever is helping us out, I miss my family, I worry about all of the million things I need to get done at home, I worry that I forgot something for school and I MISS THEM!  Just tonight I missed Maggie coming home with her birthday present from Papaw Casey, her bike, she was so excited to call me and could barely get all of the details out to tell me about it!  But I smile at that - she is a happy, happy girl and that makes me a happy mom, I just wish I could be there to see it with the smile that I know is on her face.

Physically, when I was here in June, I ended up with strep.  Today I wake up with a cold, it stinks!  I hate traveling and not feeling well.  One bonus, I am about to head to bed at 8:30 Central time and do not plan to wake until 5:00 AM!

Having to ask so many people to help us out makes it harder on me, I had to have someone cover my meeting - I know my mother in law did a great job but I hate missing Kappa nights :(.  Memaw Donna will have to cover Friday night pick up of the kids because I cannot get home until about 7:00 and Matthew is leaving for his golf trip - UGH logistics!

Everyone thinks it is nice to sleep in a bed without kids, to not have to worry about being woke up because there are many nights when someone is up and to be able to sit down and eat a hot dinner but no really I would rather be home with my family, learning is nice, I LOVE that part but traveling is not all that glamorous. 

Just to show you here is my room from travels in June, I could touch both sides of it by stretching out - I think it is smaller than most cruise ship rooms! That is a twin bed and you can see the sink - the bathroom is the small closet size behind the bed.  This was a good trip but the room cracked me up - I did not have free time to spend in there so it does not really matter!

 Traveling is part of what I do and I am grateful for the fact that I am able to travel to learn more about my job and how I can continue to improve.  I appreciate the opportunities that I have at ConAgra and with my team, still does not mean I do not miss my family like crazy when I am cozy in my cruise ship rooms!  However, traveling in the corporate jet was nice - that trip when I had strep - at least I was on the jet for 75% of my travels!

Kiddos, I hope you are being good.

Hubby hang in there, do not let them win! 

I love you all and will see 4 of you Friday and one of you hopefully by Monday!