Being a Mom

Being a mom fills my brain with so many thoughts over the almost five years (YIKES that is a scary thought) of being a parent I have had a lot of random thoughts and feelings.  I am finally just going to take a few minutes and record the thoughts that are running through my head about being a mom to two 4 year olds, who are very close to turning 5 and two 2 year olds who act like they are going on 30 some days.

I love being a mom, it is by far the biggest and best accomplishment I have ever done and I am forever grateful that I have been given the opportunity to be a mom.  My thoughts, dreams, worries and cares will change with time but right now the following is what consumes my mind for a major part of the day.

Here is what being a mom means to me (in no particular order):

• Never sitting down, or at least never sitting for too long, except for my commute to and from work
• Realizing after I have arrived at work that there is snot on my sleeve or shoulder from my little ones
• PRIDE in their accomplishments, big and small
• Fear that I am not giving them enough of a background to become good people
• Hope, that they will accomplish anything and everything they can ever dream
• LOVE, oh it is so much more love than I ever knew I could feel for these little people
• A kitchen table that has food caked in the grooves on most given days
• Dirty floors, always dirty floors, with six people in the house what else can I expect?
• Never knowing when you will get a bad shot in sippy cup roulette, you know when you find a sippy cup that the creative little buggers hid somewhere, no matter how hard you try you can never find them all and should probably just throw it away but cannot help but look inside
• Finger prints on windows, walls, doors and basically anything that stands still
• Stickers where they do not belong, including on my pants when I arrive at work
• Too much to do and NEVER enough time to do all that your heart may desire, that you kids need done for that your house could use
• Not a full nights sleep, even when they are staying with Memaw or Papaw, I worry that they are not sleeping through the night and making things rough on them.  It is only when I get away for a day or two far out of twothat I can sleep for a day straight - and basically have before!
• Art projects covering my walls, who needs fancy expensive art when you have four live in artist?
• Driving along and realizing that I just spent the last twenty minutes listening to Elmo or the Fresh Beat Band when you are by yourself - your children have not been with you for twenty minutes you can turn it off now! 
• Sweet, sweet kisses. Sloppy, full of love kisses from your babies
• "more hugs" and big strong ones too
• Random "I love you momma" moments
• Never getting to eat a hot meal again, at least I do not have to worry about burning my mouth
• Getting the "sympathy" and "annoyance" looks at the restaurant when we are brave and crazy enough to take all four kids out to eat - yes we do go out to eat
• Never knowing if you will actually get to eat in a restaurant when you head out with all four, having your food boxed up as soon as it comes has happened before as well as leaving before the food is out and the others staying behind to get our dinner
• Looking back at the photos over the years and just wondering where in the world time has gone, when did they get so big and what will the future hold for them?
• Silently apologizing to my children for their too short pants that they will wear to school some days because I didn't realize they were too short until we had them on and were on the way out the door, who cares if it is high water pants for one day?
• Praying that I am giving them enough guidance to learn and freedom to figure things out but not too much that they begin to take things for granted
• The joy of watching them learn new things, learning to jump anyone?  Their patience to learn is amazing at a young age
• Always trying to remember that it is okay that you are a working mom, they are learning so much at school and have a ton of friends
• Hoping that I am balancing all of my roles just right
• Wishing I had more time to record our moments
• Being amazed at how much of yourself or your spouse you see in your children, especially wondering if you will make it through the teen years with your oldest daughter being just like you
• Having more mixed emotions then you will ever know to deal with: hope, fear, care, concern, scared, love, pride and faith - you go through them all as a parent and never know when they will mix together

I still cannot believe my babies will be turning 5 very soon, can someone please freeze time?  How did they become these little people who know way too much but not enough?  I am having a HARD and emotional time even thinking about the fact that they are turning 5 - can we not stay 4 and 2 forever?  I know the answer, but you have to ask right? 

I know this more than anything, the love for my children constantly pulls me through the hard times and always gives me a reminder for is truly important in the world. 

Caden Joe, Maggie Lynne, Mal Mal and Cale Man Buster - I love you more than you will ever know, thank you for giving me the chance to be your momma. 

We are some very lucky parents to have you in our lives!