This year I did not do my 30 days of thanksgiving on Facebook but that does not mean that I was not writing them down and reflecting on all that I am thankful for!
So here it goes:
1. My Husband - without him I would not be able to do all I do. He supports my crazy ideas for this family and is my best friend who can make me feel better with a hug.
2. My kids - they have taught me more about myself than I ever thought I could learn. They have taught me I could love until my heart wants to burst and that being a mom is the most rewarding but also the hardest thing I have ever done. They are my world and are why I do what I do in life!
3. My mom - she has always believed in me and supported me. She may think I am insane for what I try to do but she has believed in me more than I believed in myself at times and I cannot go a day without talking to her.
4. My dad - he is 4th because it has been one month since he left us, I am thankful for the memories. I am thankful for all he taught in my life.
5. My sister - she is my rock of reality. She makes sure that when I am about to fall off the cliff that she will pull me up to the real world and help me focus on what really matters. I love having her to balance me.
6. My extended family and the friends we have who are like family in our lives. I love you all, I am glad you all put up with my craziness and the craziness of our house and cannot imagine life without all of you.
7. Being an Aunt to some amazing kids, I love spoiling them with love and to see their smiling faces.
8. My ConAgra Family and the career I have been able to have there in almost 8 years!
9. The support team I have gained for my running journey, my hubby and friends, you all have believed in me that I can do this and I could not without your support. Let's see how I get thru training with snow coming but I can do this!
10. Crazy, quick trips to the Country Music Awards with some of my favorite people.
11. The teachers my kids have - I am very thankful for all of them that have been in their lives and the awesome job they have done in shaping my little people!
12. My love for sports and the chance to attends games - whether with family of friends I love a good game.
13. Friend who have always been there but who I may not have seen in a while. You all have written a chapter in my life and I am grateful for them all.
14. Passion to do more for others and the ability to be involved with Tri Kappa, Relay for Life and to be able to teach giving to my kids
15. Watching my kids push themselves to do more than they think they can! I love to see an accomplishment of joy come across their faces.
16. The NKMOTC moms - I love you ladies and you have helped me so much, I miss you and hope to see you soon
17. My Keurig coffee machine, yes I need it to keep up with these kids!
18. The fact that Maggie asked to join Girl Scouts, I have many great memories from being a Girl Scout and loved it, I hope she does too
19. Time with my grandparents, I am lucky to have been able to know all of my grandparents and to know Matt's.
20. Having an amazing team to work with - you all keep me coming back each day.
21. Having a job that allows me to attend my kids functions during the day and on today a very special lunch feast with my 3 year olds.
22. The means and ability to take my kids on a vacation, it may be a trip for Matt and I but I love living in their worlds and seeing things for the first time with them.
23. Wacthing my kids interaction with each other, there are many sweet moments when they are not fighting!
24. Kids that want to support each other, watching Caden, Mallory and Cale cheering on Maggie this week has been awesome, they want her to do so well and have been practicing with her.
25. In Laws who help us out with our crazy crew - they are up for any trip and outing.
26. Being able to take my kids to one of the most magical places on earth, Disney World and Disneyland - even adults get excited there and I know so many people cannot afford to go.
27. Seeing good friends who live many miles away - blessed to catch up with one this week during our trip to California
28. The gift of being a mother 6 years ago today I got my first chance to do that and it forever changed me.
29. New friends who we made at pageant - that is one NAMily we have
30. A month of being able to reflective on my blessings and to truly be thankful!
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Two months later, it still hurts...
Well two months after dad has passed and while we are moving forward things are still hard and I would give anything for one more conversation with him. I want to make sure I remember him, in the good days, and while I have had one dream in which he was in it startled me awake and never came back.
I had many moments of smiles while at Disney with my family, my dad loved just watching everything there. He was crazy enough to take us there with friends, 4 girls, just he and grandma, what was he thinking? He did that twice!
Mallory seems to ask me the most questions about my dad, she wants to know a lot of things. It pains me to answer some of them but I am glad she asks. I sure do wish they could have really known the real him.
Thanksgiving started out rough, I could not sleep, did not really think about why, I mean after all my kids were celebrating their 6th birthday that day so I should not have been in a bad mood. It hit me after I locked myself in the bathroom for a quick shower, I was missing my dad. I had not spent Thanksgiving with my dad in at least 8 years, but I usually talked to him on that day at least. I could no longer call him if I wanted to, that made me sad. But as sad I was we had birthdays to celebrate and many reasons to be thankful so I had my moment but cheered up to celebrate my babies and to reflect on my blessings. This was also my first ever Thanksgiving away from our big family and my mom, it was good but next year I want to be at home with all of those crazy people I love!
I was not really sure what to expect in this whole process. The first few weeks I kept busy by cleaning his place and just trying to figure out how to be a good mom and wife again. Then one month in my kids were sick and made sure I was focused on them, I ran away once to Nashville for the CMA's though, came back and we were off to California. I can definitely say things are getting easier in the whole process but juggling the "stuff" you need to do with what you want to do is hard.
I still want one day to curl up and hide, to really cry and think about the good times with my dad. To sit and talk to him. I have not been able to have that day alone yet. I cannot find a day to schedule off work when I do not need to be doing a million things at home or cleaning. Someone always needs to be somewhere, something has to be washed or bought for school or someone needs mommy. I will figure it out one day, I have to but for now I have to be with my family and do what they need.
I miss my dad, I know he is better now, I believe he is healed. I hear him laugh every once in a while and smile.
Until we can sit and talk dad, I love you, I miss you, I hope you forgive me and I will see you another day.
I had many moments of smiles while at Disney with my family, my dad loved just watching everything there. He was crazy enough to take us there with friends, 4 girls, just he and grandma, what was he thinking? He did that twice!
Mallory seems to ask me the most questions about my dad, she wants to know a lot of things. It pains me to answer some of them but I am glad she asks. I sure do wish they could have really known the real him.
Thanksgiving started out rough, I could not sleep, did not really think about why, I mean after all my kids were celebrating their 6th birthday that day so I should not have been in a bad mood. It hit me after I locked myself in the bathroom for a quick shower, I was missing my dad. I had not spent Thanksgiving with my dad in at least 8 years, but I usually talked to him on that day at least. I could no longer call him if I wanted to, that made me sad. But as sad I was we had birthdays to celebrate and many reasons to be thankful so I had my moment but cheered up to celebrate my babies and to reflect on my blessings. This was also my first ever Thanksgiving away from our big family and my mom, it was good but next year I want to be at home with all of those crazy people I love!
I was not really sure what to expect in this whole process. The first few weeks I kept busy by cleaning his place and just trying to figure out how to be a good mom and wife again. Then one month in my kids were sick and made sure I was focused on them, I ran away once to Nashville for the CMA's though, came back and we were off to California. I can definitely say things are getting easier in the whole process but juggling the "stuff" you need to do with what you want to do is hard.
I still want one day to curl up and hide, to really cry and think about the good times with my dad. To sit and talk to him. I have not been able to have that day alone yet. I cannot find a day to schedule off work when I do not need to be doing a million things at home or cleaning. Someone always needs to be somewhere, something has to be washed or bought for school or someone needs mommy. I will figure it out one day, I have to but for now I have to be with my family and do what they need.
I miss my dad, I know he is better now, I believe he is healed. I hear him laugh every once in a while and smile.
Until we can sit and talk dad, I love you, I miss you, I hope you forgive me and I will see you another day.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
No Matter What He is Still My Dad
Friday flipped my world upside down and since I cannot sleep and the season premiere of Grey's has not helped I figured I would write everything my heart feels. So I sit here on the couch, 4:43 in the morning, with my favorite quilt and a box of tissues to write what my heart feels about my dad.
The truth is no matter what is he my dad. I cannot and would not ever change that but March 3rd is the last time I spoke to my dad. It was not a conversation you ever want to have with a parent or someone you love - he said he was done speaking to me and that he was cutting me out of his life. He said some hurtful things to me, told me I was a disappointment to the family and I needed to do more to help. And that is the last time I spoke to him, I have a lot of regret I did not try harder to fix that but I cannot change that either. What I know is that my dad, the one I remember was a good dad but his disease won and killed our relationship.
Could I have done more? yes
Did it kill me to not talk to him? yes
Did I want him to get help? yes
Did I protect my kids from knowing alcoholism? yes and I would a million times over.
Does my heart hurt because my dad is gone? HELL yes it is breaking into a million pieces because he was my dad and I loved him.
No one can ever understand the emotional roller coaster I have been on with my dad, there are about 4 people in the world who can even begin to understand this journey and I would never wish this on anyone. I had to make decisions that many questioned but they were and are what I thought were the right ones.
Dealing with an alcoholic father put me in the position of having to be the adult in the relationship instead of the child. A role I may not have done well but at this point I cannot change anything and I have to be at peace with my dad passing. I am at peace because I no longer have to worry about him and his health. I no longer have to worry he would drive after drinking and hurt someone or himself. I no longer worry if he will have to go back to jail because of the drinking. I no longer have to worry that he would not find peace in his life, I hope he has it now. I no longer wonder if I can fix my relationship with my dad, I cannot.
I have learned a lot from my dad, he ALWAYS made sure we got to our events, he was ALWAYS at our events. I think I can remember only one game in all of my sports career he did not attend. He was proud of his children, even if we did not hear it from him. He taught me the pain I never want my children to feel. He taught me that I could be stronger than I ever thought I could be. He taught me that things may not always work out the way we want them but we deal with them and learn.
The dad I want to remember is the man that did not exist over the last 8 years or so. He is the man who was at my sporting events and was yelling about a bad call. He is the man who took his daughter to the softball field when he umpired because her momma needed a break. He is the man who people called Rainbow. He is the man who planned a surprise birthday party for my mom because he cared, that was also when I got in a lot of trouble for sneaking drinks from the adults. He is the man who travelled with me through Europe, he wasn't perfect at it but he went. He is the man who took us on family vacations even if it was just us girls. He is the man who taught me to golf and gave me a love for a game that will last a lifetime. He is the man who helped me move at college more times than he cared too. He is the man who was proud of his children and did not care what others thought. He is the man who was not sick with a horrible disease he could not beat. He is the man who I call my dad no matter what.
Everyone says have no regrets, I have only one, that I could not tell me dad one last time that no matter what I love him. I want him to know that I could not bring him into my children's lives because I love them and could not let them feel my daily pain nor could I explain to them what happened to the man who I knew as my dad. My heart hurts, it aches but I am going to go forward, honor my dad the best I can and feel peace in the fact that he no longer has to fight his demons.
Daddy, I love you, I always have and always will. I cannot believe you are gone. I hope you know how sorry I am that I did not reach out to fix our relationship. I hope you know I knew that I should send you more pictures of the kids and cards but my stubborn headed mind won. I hope you know that I love our family and I am truly doing the best I can to help out, even if you do not believe it is enough. I am doing the best I can to keep my life balanced and everyone heading in the right direction. I hope you know I appreciate everything you ever did for me. I hope you know that the fact that you were there when I was going up means the world to me and is the example I am following for my kids. I hope you have peace, real peace and that you know we love you.
I cannot change life, I believe in God's plan even when I do not understand it. I can learn from the journey, try to do better and take in the lesson from God and go forward. I can love my family more, I can be kinder to all I meet, I can honor my dad and do better.
I love you daddy, I thank you for the time together, good and bad and will miss you dearly.
The truth is no matter what is he my dad. I cannot and would not ever change that but March 3rd is the last time I spoke to my dad. It was not a conversation you ever want to have with a parent or someone you love - he said he was done speaking to me and that he was cutting me out of his life. He said some hurtful things to me, told me I was a disappointment to the family and I needed to do more to help. And that is the last time I spoke to him, I have a lot of regret I did not try harder to fix that but I cannot change that either. What I know is that my dad, the one I remember was a good dad but his disease won and killed our relationship.
Could I have done more? yes
Did it kill me to not talk to him? yes
Did I want him to get help? yes
Did I protect my kids from knowing alcoholism? yes and I would a million times over.
Does my heart hurt because my dad is gone? HELL yes it is breaking into a million pieces because he was my dad and I loved him.
No one can ever understand the emotional roller coaster I have been on with my dad, there are about 4 people in the world who can even begin to understand this journey and I would never wish this on anyone. I had to make decisions that many questioned but they were and are what I thought were the right ones.
Dealing with an alcoholic father put me in the position of having to be the adult in the relationship instead of the child. A role I may not have done well but at this point I cannot change anything and I have to be at peace with my dad passing. I am at peace because I no longer have to worry about him and his health. I no longer have to worry he would drive after drinking and hurt someone or himself. I no longer worry if he will have to go back to jail because of the drinking. I no longer have to worry that he would not find peace in his life, I hope he has it now. I no longer wonder if I can fix my relationship with my dad, I cannot.
I have learned a lot from my dad, he ALWAYS made sure we got to our events, he was ALWAYS at our events. I think I can remember only one game in all of my sports career he did not attend. He was proud of his children, even if we did not hear it from him. He taught me the pain I never want my children to feel. He taught me that I could be stronger than I ever thought I could be. He taught me that things may not always work out the way we want them but we deal with them and learn.
The dad I want to remember is the man that did not exist over the last 8 years or so. He is the man who was at my sporting events and was yelling about a bad call. He is the man who took his daughter to the softball field when he umpired because her momma needed a break. He is the man who people called Rainbow. He is the man who planned a surprise birthday party for my mom because he cared, that was also when I got in a lot of trouble for sneaking drinks from the adults. He is the man who travelled with me through Europe, he wasn't perfect at it but he went. He is the man who took us on family vacations even if it was just us girls. He is the man who taught me to golf and gave me a love for a game that will last a lifetime. He is the man who helped me move at college more times than he cared too. He is the man who was proud of his children and did not care what others thought. He is the man who was not sick with a horrible disease he could not beat. He is the man who I call my dad no matter what.
Everyone says have no regrets, I have only one, that I could not tell me dad one last time that no matter what I love him. I want him to know that I could not bring him into my children's lives because I love them and could not let them feel my daily pain nor could I explain to them what happened to the man who I knew as my dad. My heart hurts, it aches but I am going to go forward, honor my dad the best I can and feel peace in the fact that he no longer has to fight his demons.
Daddy, I love you, I always have and always will. I cannot believe you are gone. I hope you know how sorry I am that I did not reach out to fix our relationship. I hope you know I knew that I should send you more pictures of the kids and cards but my stubborn headed mind won. I hope you know that I love our family and I am truly doing the best I can to help out, even if you do not believe it is enough. I am doing the best I can to keep my life balanced and everyone heading in the right direction. I hope you know I appreciate everything you ever did for me. I hope you know that the fact that you were there when I was going up means the world to me and is the example I am following for my kids. I hope you have peace, real peace and that you know we love you.
I cannot change life, I believe in God's plan even when I do not understand it. I can learn from the journey, try to do better and take in the lesson from God and go forward. I can love my family more, I can be kinder to all I meet, I can honor my dad and do better.
I love you daddy, I thank you for the time together, good and bad and will miss you dearly.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Already seeing the changes (or should I say how they have grown)
Caden and Maggie are 5 weeks into their first year of school and I am completely amazed at the changes I am already seeing in these two. I have been warned by many that they will come out of kindergarten being different people, I just did not expect to see so many changes so early on!
Caden: my shy, timid, cautious child.... is now more daring, outgoing and ready to always see his friends. He has had his close buddies at daycare but watching him branch out and meet new kids is too neat.
He is more daring, not so cautious but still my loving snuggle buddy who needs mommy or daddy around at night.
He is learning a ton, I see grown up mannerism in him when he speaks with you and he is (as he always has been) a loving big brother.
School wears him out, no more naps but there are at least two nights a week where he is fast asleep an hour before bedtime. School work does not come as easy to him as it is for Maggie, but he wants to learn and is doing great. We need to work on our sights works but everything else is an "E" right now. Yes, I am proud and thank Ms. Lauren, Ms. Holly and all who helped him to get ready.
He is LOVING soccer and playing well, he has grown a lot in the last year in sports.
He is becoming a strong young man and I could not be more proud. Sure we are testing our boundaries and at times lose our cool which results in mommy or daddy being yelled at but once I tell him I will not speak to him if he treats me that way I usually get a quick turnaround.
He still loves his sports, still wants to spend every possible minute with Papaw Casey and cannot wait to visit with his little cousins.
Maggie: my dramatic, full of imagination and loving child...she is becoming a little mother hen, teaching her little brother and sister everything she learns and just soaking in everything around her.
This is not much different than before but in more depth than I have ever seen.
She is learning cheers, making lunch choices that have her eating new things, making new friends and showing her love to teach. There is not a day that goes by that someone in the house is taking a test that Maggie will administer (thank goodness I have passed all of mine).
She is being kinder to her sister, more patient (at times) and just ready to go each day to learn more so that she can come home and share.
She has become a little soccer player, playing hard and pushing the boys aside so that she can try to shoot for that goal (two and counting as we stand today).
Dance is back in full swing, she is doing great, these girls have grown and it is hard to believe she is in her 4th year of dance.
Pageant, well that is around the corner, we have to get practicing but she is super excited.
So we are learning to balance, not quiet big kids, not quiet little kids anymore.
They are finding their way, making their own paths and just growing tremendous amounts before our eyes.
I am a proud momma, more so than ever before as I watch my little people emerge from our cocoon.
Caden: my shy, timid, cautious child.... is now more daring, outgoing and ready to always see his friends. He has had his close buddies at daycare but watching him branch out and meet new kids is too neat.
He is more daring, not so cautious but still my loving snuggle buddy who needs mommy or daddy around at night.
He is learning a ton, I see grown up mannerism in him when he speaks with you and he is (as he always has been) a loving big brother.
School wears him out, no more naps but there are at least two nights a week where he is fast asleep an hour before bedtime. School work does not come as easy to him as it is for Maggie, but he wants to learn and is doing great. We need to work on our sights works but everything else is an "E" right now. Yes, I am proud and thank Ms. Lauren, Ms. Holly and all who helped him to get ready.
He is LOVING soccer and playing well, he has grown a lot in the last year in sports.
He is becoming a strong young man and I could not be more proud. Sure we are testing our boundaries and at times lose our cool which results in mommy or daddy being yelled at but once I tell him I will not speak to him if he treats me that way I usually get a quick turnaround.
He still loves his sports, still wants to spend every possible minute with Papaw Casey and cannot wait to visit with his little cousins.
Maggie: my dramatic, full of imagination and loving child...she is becoming a little mother hen, teaching her little brother and sister everything she learns and just soaking in everything around her.
This is not much different than before but in more depth than I have ever seen.
She is learning cheers, making lunch choices that have her eating new things, making new friends and showing her love to teach. There is not a day that goes by that someone in the house is taking a test that Maggie will administer (thank goodness I have passed all of mine).
She is being kinder to her sister, more patient (at times) and just ready to go each day to learn more so that she can come home and share.
She has become a little soccer player, playing hard and pushing the boys aside so that she can try to shoot for that goal (two and counting as we stand today).
Dance is back in full swing, she is doing great, these girls have grown and it is hard to believe she is in her 4th year of dance.
Pageant, well that is around the corner, we have to get practicing but she is super excited.
So we are learning to balance, not quiet big kids, not quiet little kids anymore.
They are finding their way, making their own paths and just growing tremendous amounts before our eyes.
I am a proud momma, more so than ever before as I watch my little people emerge from our cocoon.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Living in the Kindergarten world
The last week of getting the kids into Kindergarten has been an adjustment, learning and good times.
We kicked off their school year with a great morning where mommy and daddy were able to walk them into their classes and let go. We had a good first weekend together and started off the first full week heading in the right direction, a busy one but going okay so far half way through.
Here is our first day and our photos:
As we got the kids ready that morning, I realized that I had not done the clothes back to school shopping and that Miss Maggie had mostly sandals, which they are not allowed to wear. So off to the mall we went that Thursday night to get some new shoes, she has very colorful taste but we have new shoes! Caden too, no way we were getting out of there without some new ones.
On the way to school the second day I had Caden and Mallory in the car with me. Here is the conversation I hear from the two of them as I was trying to get how the first day really went and what he was looking forward to from Caden on the way to daycare.
Mallory, "Caden you not going to Kindergarten today." His response, "yes I am Mallory, I love it there" So as I am driving down the road my heart is proud, I have a tear in my eye, my baby boy I worried about so much LOVES it at school. What more could I ask for? I then hear, "you know why I love it, it is so quiet there." then a pause, "well except at lunch - lunch is loud" smiling and covering his ears. My little man who is on his third set of tubes is loving the quiet at school, lunch is loud though and his hearing is sensitive since he has had bad hearing longer than he has had good. The important part is he was going back and heading to experience day two.
As we pulled up to daycare to get out though something changed, I saw a question and fear in his face. He asked me if I was going to wait with him while he got on the bus. Oh my breaking heart, but no buddy I am not waiting today, yesterday was special but today I have to let you get on the bus without me. And that lead to immediate tears from my little brave man. I reassured him that he would be fine, Preston and Maggie would be with him and he would do great. He was finally okay once he got inside and saw Preston but whew it was tough to fight back the tears and the desire to just go with him for one more day.
The kids are enjoying themselves and are learning the rules and what to do, I think they have already grown a ton and I am more proud each day. I love these little two more than they will ever know. I cannot wait to hear about their day and often wish there was a camera so I could see what they are doing. They like their teacher, Mrs. Pindell and Maggie even remembers her name, that was her fear, she would forget her name but need to tell her something.
I still do not like how quickly they are growing, this is all new to us but they are doing great and are strong little people. We are writing a new chapter and I am sure it will be a fun one even if momma isn't quite ready I better hurry up and get going because they sure on their way!
We kicked off their school year with a great morning where mommy and daddy were able to walk them into their classes and let go. We had a good first weekend together and started off the first full week heading in the right direction, a busy one but going okay so far half way through.
Here is our first day and our photos:
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| One excited and one nervous but ready to go! |
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| Waiting for the bus with Preston (and mommy and daddy, Ms. Lauren, Ms. April and Wayne!) |
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| Sitting in the gym waiting to go to class, see the nerves? |
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| Maggie wanted breakfast, she didn't even know it was an option! |
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| now we see smiles, but I didn't want to let her go from that hug! |
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| Mommy and daddy after drop off, yes that is a tear on my face :( |
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| After school, we all did great! |
On the way to school the second day I had Caden and Mallory in the car with me. Here is the conversation I hear from the two of them as I was trying to get how the first day really went and what he was looking forward to from Caden on the way to daycare.
Mallory, "Caden you not going to Kindergarten today." His response, "yes I am Mallory, I love it there" So as I am driving down the road my heart is proud, I have a tear in my eye, my baby boy I worried about so much LOVES it at school. What more could I ask for? I then hear, "you know why I love it, it is so quiet there." then a pause, "well except at lunch - lunch is loud" smiling and covering his ears. My little man who is on his third set of tubes is loving the quiet at school, lunch is loud though and his hearing is sensitive since he has had bad hearing longer than he has had good. The important part is he was going back and heading to experience day two.
As we pulled up to daycare to get out though something changed, I saw a question and fear in his face. He asked me if I was going to wait with him while he got on the bus. Oh my breaking heart, but no buddy I am not waiting today, yesterday was special but today I have to let you get on the bus without me. And that lead to immediate tears from my little brave man. I reassured him that he would be fine, Preston and Maggie would be with him and he would do great. He was finally okay once he got inside and saw Preston but whew it was tough to fight back the tears and the desire to just go with him for one more day.
The kids are enjoying themselves and are learning the rules and what to do, I think they have already grown a ton and I am more proud each day. I love these little two more than they will ever know. I cannot wait to hear about their day and often wish there was a camera so I could see what they are doing. They like their teacher, Mrs. Pindell and Maggie even remembers her name, that was her fear, she would forget her name but need to tell her something.
I still do not like how quickly they are growing, this is all new to us but they are doing great and are strong little people. We are writing a new chapter and I am sure it will be a fun one even if momma isn't quite ready I better hurry up and get going because they sure on their way!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
The time has come...
Well the time has come. Registration is complete, doctors visits are done, the supplies are bought and time has won. My babies are off to kindergarten tomorrow and this momma is so full of mixed emotions I cannot stand it.
We have delivered our supplies, met our teacher and some new friends, made sure we know where to go, saw where we will eat, lunches are packed, papers are complete, back packs are ready and my babies are asleep. But yet I sit here and just remember the day we brought them home, Maggie first at 4lbs. then Caden 9 days later, she tells him all the time he had to stay in the hospital while she got to come home, but I am off topic.
Our biggest decisions and questions tonight:
Maggie:
Me? How do I feel? Well I am proud of them, they are smart little people who have learned a ton over the last couple of years. Sad they are growing up too fast, I want time to slow down. Tired from a long week of work. Excited because we have made it this far into their lives and we are all still standing and love each other more everyday. Worried, wondering if they will be okay in that big school, relieved that their teacher seems great and they are with Mrs. Albright, she will make sure they are fine.
I am excited to hear about their day once it is over, I know they will be fine and will have fun and do great, after all they are pretty amazing little people but I still cannot help to wonder.
How are Cale and Mallory feeling about being at school by themselves? Well excited to move downstairs to the big kids classroom. However, Mallory did say she will miss them and wants to go "hang out" at their new school!
We have to thank Ms. Lauren, she has helped them to be prepared for this day in more ways than we can count and has done an amazing job with them all. She has loved my kids and I am not sure who is more sad for the day to come, her, us or Maggie. Doodle wants Ms. Lauren to go to kindergarten with her!
Thank you Lauren for being a HUGE part of their lives over the last couple of years and helping them to be ready for this first big day.
I am okay, tomorrow is a new day, a new chapter in our ongoing lives. An exciting chapter! One that I was not sure would ever get here when I was very pregnant on a hot August Day what seems like forever ago!
Caden and Maggie, I love you. I am excited for you, I am proud of you, I will be thinking about you and I cannot wait to hear how your day went!
Go get'em kiddos!
We have delivered our supplies, met our teacher and some new friends, made sure we know where to go, saw where we will eat, lunches are packed, papers are complete, back packs are ready and my babies are asleep. But yet I sit here and just remember the day we brought them home, Maggie first at 4lbs. then Caden 9 days later, she tells him all the time he had to stay in the hospital while she got to come home, but I am off topic.
Our biggest decisions and questions tonight:
Maggie:
- "what time do I have to get up?" She wants to go but wants to sleep in as well.
- Choosing the outfit, pretty easy decision, she amazingly went with my pick, nothing fancy. She has requested a bow in her hair though to make her cute (her words not mine)!
- Lunch choice: packing with turkey roll ups, applesauce, granola bar, fruit snack and she will buy milk, but really wants chocolate milk.
- Do we take his blanket or leave it? His questions, "do we take naps?" yes son you rest. "does it look like a baby?" how about we hide it just in case you get nervous. His decision we will hide it in the secret pocket in his backpack just in case, but only one not two like we usually carry.
- Lunch choice: packing with dinosaurs spaghetti to go in his thermos, applesauce, pretzel crisps, fruit snacks and he will buy milk, but doesn't know what to do yet. I reassured him they will help him out tomorrow.
- Outfit, he is a boy and doesn't really care
Me? How do I feel? Well I am proud of them, they are smart little people who have learned a ton over the last couple of years. Sad they are growing up too fast, I want time to slow down. Tired from a long week of work. Excited because we have made it this far into their lives and we are all still standing and love each other more everyday. Worried, wondering if they will be okay in that big school, relieved that their teacher seems great and they are with Mrs. Albright, she will make sure they are fine.
I am excited to hear about their day once it is over, I know they will be fine and will have fun and do great, after all they are pretty amazing little people but I still cannot help to wonder.
How are Cale and Mallory feeling about being at school by themselves? Well excited to move downstairs to the big kids classroom. However, Mallory did say she will miss them and wants to go "hang out" at their new school!
We have to thank Ms. Lauren, she has helped them to be prepared for this day in more ways than we can count and has done an amazing job with them all. She has loved my kids and I am not sure who is more sad for the day to come, her, us or Maggie. Doodle wants Ms. Lauren to go to kindergarten with her!
Thank you Lauren for being a HUGE part of their lives over the last couple of years and helping them to be ready for this first big day.
I am okay, tomorrow is a new day, a new chapter in our ongoing lives. An exciting chapter! One that I was not sure would ever get here when I was very pregnant on a hot August Day what seems like forever ago!
Caden and Maggie, I love you. I am excited for you, I am proud of you, I will be thinking about you and I cannot wait to hear how your day went!
Go get'em kiddos!
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
A Child's Accomplishments - SHE DID IT!
"I DID IT!" those were the words of excitement coming from our Miss Maggie tonight as she scored her first ever goal in soccer tonight and I could not have been happier or more proud to watch this reaction from my little girl who second guesses everything she does.
She wants to be good at so many things, she wants her work to be perfect, she will stress about how things look, how much she can do, if there are too many people watching will she do okay during dance, with all of those people at the game there is no way she thought she could score a goal. These are the thoughts running through my little person's head at all times. But she did what she was not sure she could do and she celebrated.
Just last night as she lay in bed she was talking with me about their game tonight, she was nervous, she knew she had learned a lot over the last year, scored some goals in practice but she did not think she could do it during the game. I told her she just had to try hard and work at it with her teammates and that I was sure they would score many goals.
She broke away during the second quarter and was running hard, but the goalie for the other team was good and made the stop. She was mad, I could see it but she did not give up. She played hard, tried to keep pushing to the goal and then finally during the fourth quarter she did it. She put that ball in the net and celebrated with the enthusiasm that was deserving of a major accomplishment when you were not sure you could do it. She promptly looked around to see who saw it, I gave her a thumbs up and she went running to daddy on the sideline to receive a big old hug before coming back into the game. I teared up, a new emotion to see from her and to experience as a parent, I LOVED it all.
This was her first ever goal, she has played soccer for a year and just was never aggressive, this year is different. She says it is because they have more girls than boys on the team, I think it may have something to do with the fact she is almost 6 and is just growing up. We really were not sure that Maggie would be a sports girl but maybe just maybe she will prove our thoughts wrong.
Caden scored too, he was excited but a little more reserved on his celebration! It wasn't his first ever goal, that came earlier in the year during indoor soccer, but I missed it, I was in the bathroom with Mallory and Cale - just the life of a mom of 4 little kids, multitasking and missing a few things that happen.
The green machine did good tonight, they played hard, played well together and really looked like a young team who knows what they are doing. Sure we picked the grass, hugged our friends and were entertaining each other on the sidelines but they are kids who are 4 and 5 - what do you expect. Every parent was cheering for the team and supporting the kids, that is what I loved!
It was a fun night, one I am glad I did not miss. No I cannot be at all things my kids do but when you get to witness moments like these it reminds you of so many things and makes you appreciate the time you do get with your kids.
This is a big week, kindergarten starts on Thursday, I am an emotional mess but they are excited, more to come later this week!
She wants to be good at so many things, she wants her work to be perfect, she will stress about how things look, how much she can do, if there are too many people watching will she do okay during dance, with all of those people at the game there is no way she thought she could score a goal. These are the thoughts running through my little person's head at all times. But she did what she was not sure she could do and she celebrated.
Just last night as she lay in bed she was talking with me about their game tonight, she was nervous, she knew she had learned a lot over the last year, scored some goals in practice but she did not think she could do it during the game. I told her she just had to try hard and work at it with her teammates and that I was sure they would score many goals.
She broke away during the second quarter and was running hard, but the goalie for the other team was good and made the stop. She was mad, I could see it but she did not give up. She played hard, tried to keep pushing to the goal and then finally during the fourth quarter she did it. She put that ball in the net and celebrated with the enthusiasm that was deserving of a major accomplishment when you were not sure you could do it. She promptly looked around to see who saw it, I gave her a thumbs up and she went running to daddy on the sideline to receive a big old hug before coming back into the game. I teared up, a new emotion to see from her and to experience as a parent, I LOVED it all.
This was her first ever goal, she has played soccer for a year and just was never aggressive, this year is different. She says it is because they have more girls than boys on the team, I think it may have something to do with the fact she is almost 6 and is just growing up. We really were not sure that Maggie would be a sports girl but maybe just maybe she will prove our thoughts wrong.
Caden scored too, he was excited but a little more reserved on his celebration! It wasn't his first ever goal, that came earlier in the year during indoor soccer, but I missed it, I was in the bathroom with Mallory and Cale - just the life of a mom of 4 little kids, multitasking and missing a few things that happen.
The green machine did good tonight, they played hard, played well together and really looked like a young team who knows what they are doing. Sure we picked the grass, hugged our friends and were entertaining each other on the sidelines but they are kids who are 4 and 5 - what do you expect. Every parent was cheering for the team and supporting the kids, that is what I loved!
It was a fun night, one I am glad I did not miss. No I cannot be at all things my kids do but when you get to witness moments like these it reminds you of so many things and makes you appreciate the time you do get with your kids.
This is a big week, kindergarten starts on Thursday, I am an emotional mess but they are excited, more to come later this week!
Friday, June 28, 2013
Holy Crap What Did I Just Do?!?!??!!?
I think I just had a minute of insanity or someone else just took over my body.
I just registered for the Disney Princess Half Marathon on February 23, 2014. Yes, I know registering is only half of the battle but hey that is more than I would have done if I was sane today.
Those of you who know me know I am not a runner. Why do this? Two year ago I saw gals who were running this race and staying at our resort. While there - Mallory and Cale were just about 18 months and I was jealous of these gals who did this run, I thought why can't I do that? I was super jealous of the gals walking around Disney wearing the medals proudly. I mentally made a commitment to myself to one day do this and to just finish the race, say I did it, hit some accomplishments for me that is my goal.
Well 2013 has come and gone - I did not do the half marathon so guess what - I am in for 2014 which maybe our last February Florida vacation anyways! And I would have never done this without my friend Carmen committing to run this race as well. It starts at 5:30 AM so I am back and in the pool for the rest of the day with the family, nothing better than that.
I may die trying but I will not let my girls down, they are going to be so excited for mommy to run the Princess run in a tutu. My goal = to finish! My motivation = my kids, my hubby and doing something for myself - yes a half marathon is on my bucket list for some crazy reason, not just any run the Princess Run!
Oh my what did I get myself into? How in the world will this gal, who is not a runner, do this? I don't know but I have 236 days to figure it out!
Happy Friday and Happy Running!
I just registered for the Disney Princess Half Marathon on February 23, 2014. Yes, I know registering is only half of the battle but hey that is more than I would have done if I was sane today.
Those of you who know me know I am not a runner. Why do this? Two year ago I saw gals who were running this race and staying at our resort. While there - Mallory and Cale were just about 18 months and I was jealous of these gals who did this run, I thought why can't I do that? I was super jealous of the gals walking around Disney wearing the medals proudly. I mentally made a commitment to myself to one day do this and to just finish the race, say I did it, hit some accomplishments for me that is my goal.
Well 2013 has come and gone - I did not do the half marathon so guess what - I am in for 2014 which maybe our last February Florida vacation anyways! And I would have never done this without my friend Carmen committing to run this race as well. It starts at 5:30 AM so I am back and in the pool for the rest of the day with the family, nothing better than that.
I may die trying but I will not let my girls down, they are going to be so excited for mommy to run the Princess run in a tutu. My goal = to finish! My motivation = my kids, my hubby and doing something for myself - yes a half marathon is on my bucket list for some crazy reason, not just any run the Princess Run!
Oh my what did I get myself into? How in the world will this gal, who is not a runner, do this? I don't know but I have 236 days to figure it out!
Happy Friday and Happy Running!
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Happy 3rd Birthday Cale-Man Buddy!
Cale Joseph,
HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY BUSTER! I love you so much and I am so excited that we are celebrating your 3rd birthday. You are such an exciting part of our lives, I cannot imagine our lives without you and the way you live life there was no way that you were not going to join us in this world. You may have not had a heartbeat that we could see for 7 weeks or so but you are 110% into life now and we know that you are a blessing.
You do not stop; everything you do is with all of your heart, soul and energy. We often find you asleep on the couch as we finally got you to slow down long enough to sit down, usually with the iPad in your hands. (Yes you have already cost us one new screen but now you are careful when using it) You are always busy with cars, trains, monster trucks and have recently added the Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles to your favorite things. We cannot go anywhere without two monkeys and a blanket. You LOVE Spiderman and are working hard on potty training so you can get your Superman prize. I have to admit, mommy has been lazy on potty training you (you are #4) and Ms. Michelle gets all of the credit for pushing us and you to do this because you were ready!
You always want to play with Caden, you two do not always share well but you truly enjoy each other’s company. You are mischievous with Maggie, you two scare me quite frankly and I worry about the trouble you may cause one day! You love Mal-Mal and you two pal around all the time. You are my snuggle bug, you are our puppy – you love being a puppy.
Coca-Cola and Starbursts are two of your favorite things, you LOVE pizza and hot dogs! You will eat some healthy things but for the most part are a creature of habit in what you eat and can sit and eat 100 suckers at a time if you can hide them from mommy :).
You can ride a bike better than most kids your age and probably better than your older sister Maggie, but we won’t tell her that right now. You just go all out in all you do and on Friday we found you and Caden playing baseball in the backyard. You so badly wanted to play on his team this year and enjoyed running the bases after every game.
Your birthday weekend was full of celebration and joy! Friday kicked off with ice cream and dinner with Papaw Casey, LaRosas of course. Followed by fun in the yard and hanging out. Saturday you were so excited to go see Mike Wazowski in Monsters U. and it was your first big outing in big boy underwear, you did GREAT! Sunday you played hard at the park, so hard in fact you slept through the first two hours of your party. We found you sitting in the chair with the iPad! Monday led us to donuts for breakfast, you love the iced ones with sprinkles and we will finish off with a gift from us and some more singing of Happy Birthday.
Buddy, we never know what we will get with you but I know that we love you more and more each day. Your little curly head with a silly grin can brighten any one's day. Your giggle is contagious and gets you out of trouble quiet a bit. You laugh hard when daddy jiggles your belly as you lay on the floor, just as his grandpa Milton did with him. You are a blessing we did not expect but I cannot imagine our lives without you in them.
I love you Cale Joseph more than you will ever know, thank you for the opportunity to make our family full and complete! I am proud to be your momma and hope that you know how much I love you.
Happy Birthday Buster, we love you!
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| Silly face boy enjoying his donut and chocolate milk |
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| Excited to see the movie with Caden! |
Happy 3rd Birthday Mal-Mal!
Mallory Lynne,
HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL! I love you to pieces and I am so glad that you have enjoyed this birthday. You have been so excited to celebrate your birthday and to be with your friends. You have wanted nothing but fun and for your friends to sing happy birthday to you and that is exactly what you have done. It seems like so long ago that you came into the world but in fact it was only 3 short years ago.
For your birthday weekend we kicked if off with ice cream on Friday night followed by dinner with Papaw Screwball and fun in the backyard. Saturday brought on your first movie - Monsters U. - you made it until 10 minutes to go and then fell asleep in my lap. Sunday brought on the Brookbank family reunion followed by a gathering at our house for Minnie cake and some ice cream, you played in the water until you were shivering and had a wonderful time! Monday was donuts for breakfast and cupcakes with your friends at school. We will end this evening with cupcakes and presents from Caden and Maggie.
You are full of life, you love your baby dolls and Minnie Mouse, you are mommy's shadow and are a big helper when we are cleaning up. You eat just about anything that we put in front of you, including vegetables and fruit. You are potty trained and are very proud that you are a big girl! You sing many songs, you are always singing when you are playing with your babies. You are super excited about your Minnie Mouse scooter and I hope you have many great days riding it.
You are a lot like your big brother Caden in more than looks but you definitely look up to Maggie and will play dress up or put on shows for us with her. You have curly hair, YES someone finally has my hair! Your hair has really grown a lot and you are beautiful. You and Cale play nicely together for the most part. I think the two of you are more chatty and sneaky at night than Caden and Maggie ever were.
Mallory, you add so much joy to our lives. I love you more than you will ever know. I hope you have had the happiest of birthdays and I hope that we have many more to celebrate. You definitely bring a smile to my face and happiness to my heart!
Momma loves you baby girl, I know you will do great things in this world and I am so proud to be your mommy.
Happy Birthday Pickles! We love you!
HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL! I love you to pieces and I am so glad that you have enjoyed this birthday. You have been so excited to celebrate your birthday and to be with your friends. You have wanted nothing but fun and for your friends to sing happy birthday to you and that is exactly what you have done. It seems like so long ago that you came into the world but in fact it was only 3 short years ago.
For your birthday weekend we kicked if off with ice cream on Friday night followed by dinner with Papaw Screwball and fun in the backyard. Saturday brought on your first movie - Monsters U. - you made it until 10 minutes to go and then fell asleep in my lap. Sunday brought on the Brookbank family reunion followed by a gathering at our house for Minnie cake and some ice cream, you played in the water until you were shivering and had a wonderful time! Monday was donuts for breakfast and cupcakes with your friends at school. We will end this evening with cupcakes and presents from Caden and Maggie.
You are full of life, you love your baby dolls and Minnie Mouse, you are mommy's shadow and are a big helper when we are cleaning up. You eat just about anything that we put in front of you, including vegetables and fruit. You are potty trained and are very proud that you are a big girl! You sing many songs, you are always singing when you are playing with your babies. You are super excited about your Minnie Mouse scooter and I hope you have many great days riding it.
You are a lot like your big brother Caden in more than looks but you definitely look up to Maggie and will play dress up or put on shows for us with her. You have curly hair, YES someone finally has my hair! Your hair has really grown a lot and you are beautiful. You and Cale play nicely together for the most part. I think the two of you are more chatty and sneaky at night than Caden and Maggie ever were.
Mallory, you add so much joy to our lives. I love you more than you will ever know. I hope you have had the happiest of birthdays and I hope that we have many more to celebrate. You definitely bring a smile to my face and happiness to my heart!
Momma loves you baby girl, I know you will do great things in this world and I am so proud to be your mommy.
Happy Birthday Pickles! We love you!
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| Your first movie in the theater! |
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| Donuts for breakfast and your big brother being silly! |
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Conversations with two, two year olds
This note goes back to mid - April. I jotted this down after a morning car ride with Cale and Mallory to daycare. I realized the other day I have a lot of notes written about what they have said along their journey of learning to talk in sentences but had not yet taken the time to put them out here. I am very grateful that during a Bengals game tailgate a long time ago, someone told me to write down these conversations with my kids, they make me chuckle and bring me back to the reality and what is important many times.
So here it goes a conversation with two stubborn 2 year olds on the way to school at about 6:45 AM
She then adamantly responds, " I am not his brother" well no sweetie you are not his brother but you are his sister and we do not get to pick our family is what I am thinking.
So here it goes a conversation with two stubborn 2 year olds on the way to school at about 6:45 AM
Mallory, "I don’t like you Cale" for no good reason other than maybe her baby brother (by two minutes) was picking on her about something. Unfortunately the exact nature of what I cannot remember.
My response, "Not true Mallory you love him, he is your brother"
Mallory, “I don’t want him to be my brother”
Trying to be the good mom I respond, "That isn’t very nice – you are his sister and he loves you"
Cale jumps in and replies, "I am not a brother, I am your Buster
Mallory then replies, "No you Calebert"
Cale then argues, "I not Calebert Mal, you are" I love how he calls his sister, "Mal"
Her response, "No I am not, I am Pickles" which is what we call her thanks to her daddy.
Cale then says, "Oh that is disgusting. Pickles are disgusting" which just made me laugh because I had never heard him say disgusting before and it seemed like such a large word for him but was used correctly so yes I was proud.
Mallory getting mad and defensive at this point says, "No mommy tell him, I am pickles and he is not a buster"
And then we arrive at school and change directions of our conversation!
Just an early morning argument on whether or not we are brother and sister, who has what nicknames and whether or not pickles are disgusting!
Oh I love these kids and our early morning conversations. I am grateful for the 5 minutes of time today to get this out here because in just 5 short days I will not be able to say, "conversations with a two year old" sniff they will be 3!
Thursday, June 6, 2013
My Doodle is Growing Up!
I have really seen Maggie growing up and becoming a little lady lately.
She is using her manners like never before, she will help out without being asked, she is paying attention to her brothers and sister more and just overall being a really sweet girl. I am not sure what is happening but I love what I see and she is just turning into this outgoing little lady right before our eyes.
Last night, I was picking up the house and putting away laundry when I walked into her room she was making her bed, I have never made her make her bed like that - GASP I know yes she has never made her bed - but she had it all nicely folded down and her bear in her bed just waiting for her to climb in.
This morning, I hear a noise as I was getting the little kids rounded up out of bed so I go to check on Maggie and find she is awake, once again making her bed, getting dressed putting a bow in her hair and brushing her teeth. She said to Matt, "Daddy, I got up, I made my own bed and I am not grumpy!" Just ask Matt or Ms. Lauren about Monday Morning Maggie - she is GRUMPY!
Tonight I was out for a walk and came home to an extremely quiet house. Matt comes down stairs and says we just hit a home run. Maggie said to him, "Daddy, the babies are bothering me and I am tired, I am going to bed." She put on her pajamas, climbed in bed and was out! Oh if they all were so easy, as I write this the little two are getting a lecture from Daddy for not sleeping yet and continuing to get out of their beds.
Her imagination and creativity amaze me on a daily basis. She is a crafty little thing and is always drawing, coloring, playing something that only she can see or hear and she is learning to spell!
The other day this was in her folder when I picked her up from school. On first look I had no idea what it was. I did not open it or ask her what it was, it was common throw it all on a pile and deal with it later night.
The following morning I took Maggie into school where Ms. Lauren asked me if I had seen the computers Maggie made out of some envelopes I had taken for them to use at school (thank you Aunt Betty, the paper and envelopes have been a HUGE hit). It then dawned on me that is what I had picked up with something hanging off of it! Ms. Lauren said she did this all by herself and was cranking out a bunch that day for all of her friends. Sure enough in her cubby were pieces for 4 other computers she was working on and said she would finish during centers. AMAZING - I had no idea what a computer was at her age and here she is using what is around her to make on out of paper!
I love my miny me so much. She makes me proud to be her momma and she fills each day with new and exciting things. She lives life to the fullest and is always dancing her way into people's lives.
I love you Maggie Doodle, keep doing what you are doing and you will go far in this world!
She is using her manners like never before, she will help out without being asked, she is paying attention to her brothers and sister more and just overall being a really sweet girl. I am not sure what is happening but I love what I see and she is just turning into this outgoing little lady right before our eyes.
Last night, I was picking up the house and putting away laundry when I walked into her room she was making her bed, I have never made her make her bed like that - GASP I know yes she has never made her bed - but she had it all nicely folded down and her bear in her bed just waiting for her to climb in.
This morning, I hear a noise as I was getting the little kids rounded up out of bed so I go to check on Maggie and find she is awake, once again making her bed, getting dressed putting a bow in her hair and brushing her teeth. She said to Matt, "Daddy, I got up, I made my own bed and I am not grumpy!" Just ask Matt or Ms. Lauren about Monday Morning Maggie - she is GRUMPY!
Tonight I was out for a walk and came home to an extremely quiet house. Matt comes down stairs and says we just hit a home run. Maggie said to him, "Daddy, the babies are bothering me and I am tired, I am going to bed." She put on her pajamas, climbed in bed and was out! Oh if they all were so easy, as I write this the little two are getting a lecture from Daddy for not sleeping yet and continuing to get out of their beds.
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| Sleeping peacefully |
Her imagination and creativity amaze me on a daily basis. She is a crafty little thing and is always drawing, coloring, playing something that only she can see or hear and she is learning to spell!
The other day this was in her folder when I picked her up from school. On first look I had no idea what it was. I did not open it or ask her what it was, it was common throw it all on a pile and deal with it later night.
The following morning I took Maggie into school where Ms. Lauren asked me if I had seen the computers Maggie made out of some envelopes I had taken for them to use at school (thank you Aunt Betty, the paper and envelopes have been a HUGE hit). It then dawned on me that is what I had picked up with something hanging off of it! Ms. Lauren said she did this all by herself and was cranking out a bunch that day for all of her friends. Sure enough in her cubby were pieces for 4 other computers she was working on and said she would finish during centers. AMAZING - I had no idea what a computer was at her age and here she is using what is around her to make on out of paper!
I love my miny me so much. She makes me proud to be her momma and she fills each day with new and exciting things. She lives life to the fullest and is always dancing her way into people's lives.
I love you Maggie Doodle, keep doing what you are doing and you will go far in this world!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Losing Teeth - aren't they too little for this?
This post goes back to March 13, 2013 - rewind time as it is important to record and I have not yet done so until today....
I am traveling for work today to Naperville and as I sit down to dinner with some co-workers this is the photo that flashes across my phone:
Much better of my Mags but I could see that it was sore - look how red her gum is! She was a good sport though, she was actually excited to catch up with Caden on losing her first tooth - just not naturally. She even ended up beating him by losing her second one before him - it fell out a few days later!
Very much unlike her brother that tooth immediately went under her pillow. She could not wait for the tooth fairy to come visit her.
She sounded a bit off when she talked for about two days as she got used to not having teeth and she had to have her teacher Ms. Lauren tell everyone what happened because she did not want to tell them but they kept asking.
My little girl is growing up! Aren't they too little to lose their teeth? I think so but I know these little people believe they are big kids and are ready to take on the world in their mind. Momma would like to keep them small for a while longer but I cannot. I sure hope God knows what he is doing and guides us as they grow up - he knows we need it!
Congrats my baby girl - you look beautiful without your teeth and are truly growing up right before my eyes.
I am traveling for work today to Naperville and as I sit down to dinner with some co-workers this is the photo that flashes across my phone:
Yes I freaked and did something I never do while at dinner with work, I picked up my phone right then and there at the table and called home to see what had happened! (I normally step away for phone calls to home during dinner!)
Well what happened was Maggie had pulled out one of her teeth and made another loose. She was trying to open the Tupperware container where we keep the cereal because she could not wait for daddy to get dinner on the table. Those things are stay fresh for a reason sister - they are hard to open and you should not use your mouth to open them!
I then received this picture:
Much better of my Mags but I could see that it was sore - look how red her gum is! She was a good sport though, she was actually excited to catch up with Caden on losing her first tooth - just not naturally. She even ended up beating him by losing her second one before him - it fell out a few days later!
Very much unlike her brother that tooth immediately went under her pillow. She could not wait for the tooth fairy to come visit her.
She sounded a bit off when she talked for about two days as she got used to not having teeth and she had to have her teacher Ms. Lauren tell everyone what happened because she did not want to tell them but they kept asking.
My little girl is growing up! Aren't they too little to lose their teeth? I think so but I know these little people believe they are big kids and are ready to take on the world in their mind. Momma would like to keep them small for a while longer but I cannot. I sure hope God knows what he is doing and guides us as they grow up - he knows we need it!
Congrats my baby girl - you look beautiful without your teeth and are truly growing up right before my eyes.
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| My favorite - Maggie taking her own photo on Memaw's phone to see how her teeth are growing in! |
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
We are registered for Kindergarten!
It is official, the paperwork is in, the testing is done, the tour complete and we have two VERY excited five year old children who are ready for Kindergarten and will enter school on August 1, 2013 as the class of 2026! Well at least high school graduation seems like a long way off but then again that is what I thought 6 years ago, almost to the day, that we went to do our embryo transfer.
It really is a bittersweet moment the whole thing. On one hand I am so proud they are doing so well and that they are learning to fly in the real world. On another, I want my little 4lb babies back who changed our lives forever. Some days I just miss those late night feedings when all was quiet and it was just me and my babies - I know it may sound crazy but it has just gone way too fast. The truth is they are ready to go, they are SUPER excited, they have so many questions, a little bit of nerves and are just growing up so I need to let them go.
Right now in their minds they are gearing up for the Pre K prom - yes PROM - and cannot wait until Friday. Just this morning as I was explaining to Maggie that I was going to pick her up early to take her to register for Kindergarten she said, "but will I still get to go to prom on Friday?" while she was excited about the idea of kindergarten she did not want to miss this prom. I am so excited I am going to be able to go with them, it is still up in the air on what I will wear but Miss Maggie has chosen her dress already and Caden has his tuxedo t-shirt ready to go!
After prom we begin the Pre K graduation countdown. That will be here and while it is exciting that they are graduating it will be sad as that means we are leaving Ms. Lauren who has been the kids teacher for the last 2 years and who they love dearly. In the same conversation about prom this morning Maggie was talking about how she will go to Ms. Lauren's room in the morning, the go to kindergarten then come back to Ms. Lauren's class for more fun and some days Ms. Lauren will go to kindergarten with her!
Caden had not really said whether he was excited or not about kindergarten however, as we left school he showed me just how excited he was about going and his one question was "where will I play baseball with my friends?"
Just as we arrived it was pick up time and the buses were coming, which was a great thing for them to see. They had a million questions and Maggie was worried that she was going to miss her bus - she thought she was riding it today - but just seeing that there were other kids there that would be getting on the bus made them happy. In we went to register, they took the kids to "play some games" to see where they are in skills, Matt and I filled out a million pieces of paper and then we waited for them to come out. They did great, Caden said he counted to 60 and Maggie said she counted to 70. We did not ask them anymore but we did go off to find Mrs. Albright so she could give them a personal tour of the playground. I am so grateful that we know the teachers at the school and that the kids had the chance to look around. I know they feel better and I definitely feel better about them being there.
It is bittersweet, fun, exciting to be starting a new chapter in their lives, but sad - my babies are growing up!
It really is a bittersweet moment the whole thing. On one hand I am so proud they are doing so well and that they are learning to fly in the real world. On another, I want my little 4lb babies back who changed our lives forever. Some days I just miss those late night feedings when all was quiet and it was just me and my babies - I know it may sound crazy but it has just gone way too fast. The truth is they are ready to go, they are SUPER excited, they have so many questions, a little bit of nerves and are just growing up so I need to let them go.
Right now in their minds they are gearing up for the Pre K prom - yes PROM - and cannot wait until Friday. Just this morning as I was explaining to Maggie that I was going to pick her up early to take her to register for Kindergarten she said, "but will I still get to go to prom on Friday?" while she was excited about the idea of kindergarten she did not want to miss this prom. I am so excited I am going to be able to go with them, it is still up in the air on what I will wear but Miss Maggie has chosen her dress already and Caden has his tuxedo t-shirt ready to go!
After prom we begin the Pre K graduation countdown. That will be here and while it is exciting that they are graduating it will be sad as that means we are leaving Ms. Lauren who has been the kids teacher for the last 2 years and who they love dearly. In the same conversation about prom this morning Maggie was talking about how she will go to Ms. Lauren's room in the morning, the go to kindergarten then come back to Ms. Lauren's class for more fun and some days Ms. Lauren will go to kindergarten with her!
Caden had not really said whether he was excited or not about kindergarten however, as we left school he showed me just how excited he was about going and his one question was "where will I play baseball with my friends?"
Just as we arrived it was pick up time and the buses were coming, which was a great thing for them to see. They had a million questions and Maggie was worried that she was going to miss her bus - she thought she was riding it today - but just seeing that there were other kids there that would be getting on the bus made them happy. In we went to register, they took the kids to "play some games" to see where they are in skills, Matt and I filled out a million pieces of paper and then we waited for them to come out. They did great, Caden said he counted to 60 and Maggie said she counted to 70. We did not ask them anymore but we did go off to find Mrs. Albright so she could give them a personal tour of the playground. I am so grateful that we know the teachers at the school and that the kids had the chance to look around. I know they feel better and I definitely feel better about them being there.
It is bittersweet, fun, exciting to be starting a new chapter in their lives, but sad - my babies are growing up!
Maggie and Caden, we love you and are proud of you and the people you are becoming.
You amaze us everyday with what you know and where you want to go.
To the class of 2026 may all of your years be wonderful, may they not fly by too fast and may you cherish each event - good and bad - and know that you will go far in life and can do whatever it is you want to do - the world is yours!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Bring a friend to class week
Each year at dance Maggie gets the chance to bring a friend to a class to join in the fun. She has taken her cousin Natalie the last two year and she wanted her to go again this year but we could not get the schedules to work so guess who got to go? Miss Mallory, that is right big sister took her little sister and I do not know who was more excited, Mallory, Memaw Donna or me!
We got ready on Sunday evening and made sure that Mallory could wear a leotard and tights just like sissy. We found a pair of Maggie's old tap shoes and packed her back pack.
Needless to say they had a GREAT time at dance. Maggie was very proud of Mallory following along and doing everything she needed to, Mallory was very proud of herself for being a big girl in dance.
Mallory was so excited that she would not change her outfit until Mommy came home that evening and she could show me how she looked and tell me about her night at dance. She even showed me some of the dance moves she learned. I think come August I am going to have to figure out how to spend 2 hours at the dance studio a week! Oh boy!
I love these little girls and their sisterly bond is coming along nicely. Just seeing this photo today, one week later than the actual day makes me cry because I am proud to be their mom and proud that we can give them these opportunities in life, our village is strong. They make me smile and I love their little smiles. Oh girls, you have so much to give this world and I am so grateful that I get to be your mommy! Keep on dancing my little ladies, keep on dancing.
We got ready on Sunday evening and made sure that Mallory could wear a leotard and tights just like sissy. We found a pair of Maggie's old tap shoes and packed her back pack.
Needless to say they had a GREAT time at dance. Maggie was very proud of Mallory following along and doing everything she needed to, Mallory was very proud of herself for being a big girl in dance.
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| My girls at dance all ready to go! |
I love these little girls and their sisterly bond is coming along nicely. Just seeing this photo today, one week later than the actual day makes me cry because I am proud to be their mom and proud that we can give them these opportunities in life, our village is strong. They make me smile and I love their little smiles. Oh girls, you have so much to give this world and I am so grateful that I get to be your mommy! Keep on dancing my little ladies, keep on dancing.
Daily Plans versus Reality and what really happens
Each day I climb out of bed before anyone else in the family, well usually anyone but sometimes you never know who is up, and as I prepare for my day I try to get my head around what they day will hold for the 6 of us.
In theory it is a good idea, get a plan for the day but in reality those plans seldom work out and I find myself getting to very little of what was actually planned. Before the kids, I was a list maker, still am but just don't often have time to make the list anyone. I find JOY in crossing things off the list and getting the projects done. I liked when a day went as planned, now we hope for the best and cherish the laughter along the way.
So here is last Tuesday's plan and what really happened in our world:
I don't know what made me write this all down the other day, maybe because it was a swing in the plan vs. reality that impacted me that day.
Maybe I just needed to be reminded of what is truly important after a long few days at work that stretched until the weekend.
Maybe looking at my babies I realize just how much they are growing up and that I cannot stop them as hard as I may try.
Maybe I just realized that God has a funny sense of humor each morning by allowing me to think I can layout a plan for the day and then testing me each day to do more than I thought I could.
Maybe I just want to feel in control for a few hours (sometimes minutes) as I lay out this plan. Whatever the case, I know that the plan may not always happen, I have had to learn how to be flexible in what I expect and what is reality (this is a WIP - still need to be reminded of this at times) and that whatever comes our way in a day if my kids made me laugh, if we snuggled a bit and if Matt and I actually got to talk to each other that day then that is what matters the most.
Having two sets of twins has changed my mindset from "get the list accomplished" to "survive the day and hope to get something done" all the while trying to enjoy the kids as they grow up too fast. I think any number of children will do this for you and somewhere there is a meaning for it.
I just know it so enjoy the reality today because if you get mad about not hitting the plan for the day there is a chanced you missed out on something wonderful!
In theory it is a good idea, get a plan for the day but in reality those plans seldom work out and I find myself getting to very little of what was actually planned. Before the kids, I was a list maker, still am but just don't often have time to make the list anyone. I find JOY in crossing things off the list and getting the projects done. I liked when a day went as planned, now we hope for the best and cherish the laughter along the way.
So here is last Tuesday's plan and what really happened in our world:
- Plan: Get to work early to get something accomplished
- Reality: Made it at my normal start time of 7:30 so not too bad
- Plan: Have a productive day at work, get through emails and get some projects done (checked off the list) and to update the blog at lunch
- Reality: Sat in meetings all day, not really sure what I accomplished other than got more emails to answer and still need to do my projects. Blog is FAR behind what I want it to be to capture our lives
- Plan: Pick the kids up at a decent time (hoping for a few minutes early) so that the evening would be smooth
- Reality: Was LATE by about 30 minutes more than normal thanks to the above said meetings
- Plan: Cook dinner, sit down the with kids to eat, hang out with them and then bathes
- Reality: Got home to the boys outside and ready to play, quickly ran in to use the restroom and off to the park the 5 of us went. We were a sight! One Gator, one pedal bike and two in a wagon being pulled trekked the 1/2 mile to the park, played and then came home all without injury. Quickly heated up some dinner in the microwave and then threw them in the tub
- Plan: Get the kids in bed on time
- Reality: LATE on this - see above we were busy playing and getting bathes!
- Plan: Finish up some laundry that needs to be done
- Reality: had some work I had to do since the day wasn't quite as productive as I had planned
- Plan: Exercise in some fashion of at least a walk on the treadmill
- Reality: finished off a Tri Kappa Easter egg while I was finishing up work
I don't know what made me write this all down the other day, maybe because it was a swing in the plan vs. reality that impacted me that day.
Maybe I just needed to be reminded of what is truly important after a long few days at work that stretched until the weekend.
Maybe looking at my babies I realize just how much they are growing up and that I cannot stop them as hard as I may try.
Maybe I just realized that God has a funny sense of humor each morning by allowing me to think I can layout a plan for the day and then testing me each day to do more than I thought I could.
Maybe I just want to feel in control for a few hours (sometimes minutes) as I lay out this plan. Whatever the case, I know that the plan may not always happen, I have had to learn how to be flexible in what I expect and what is reality (this is a WIP - still need to be reminded of this at times) and that whatever comes our way in a day if my kids made me laugh, if we snuggled a bit and if Matt and I actually got to talk to each other that day then that is what matters the most.
Having two sets of twins has changed my mindset from "get the list accomplished" to "survive the day and hope to get something done" all the while trying to enjoy the kids as they grow up too fast. I think any number of children will do this for you and somewhere there is a meaning for it.
I just know it so enjoy the reality today because if you get mad about not hitting the plan for the day there is a chanced you missed out on something wonderful!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Hello Miss Scarlett Jeanne
We are so excited that we have welcomed the newest addition to our family ~ Miss Scarlett Jeanne.
She arrived on March 14th in the afternoon just shortly after the UC game had started about 4:20, the UC game is important as mommy and daddy are big fans!
She is beautiful, already spoiled with love and is such a big part of our family. She is sweet with these cute chubby cheeks and when we do get to see her eyes open they are beautiful. She had the best room in the house at the hospital and what we consider the best nurse there to help us welcome her (thank you Nicole)! She carries a strong name and shares a name with a very special lady to our family.
Well, let the photos tell the story on her beauty.
Check out these amazing photos from her first ever photo shoot, Miss Kaleigh at Twenty Something Studios you did an AMAZING job capturing this little one, her love and the love her parents have for her. Just beautiful and the photos blew me away.
For now Miss Scarlett I can tell you that you are loved and that all of our kids cannot wait until you are old enough to run around with them and cause all sorts of trouble, but let's not grow up too fast. Aunt Trina is enjoying snuggling a baby once again.
Your big sister is an awesome big sister and I know she will take great care of you and teach you all sorts of things some of which will probably get you in trouble but that is okay, that is what big sisters are for, they show you the ropes. She definitely helps out mommy and daddy and has waited a long time to meet you and has had all of your gear ready for you before you were here. She was test driving the party transporter with her own baby dolls. It works well and is ready for your ride with your crazy cousins Whitney and Philly when you are but hold on tight, with those two you never know what you are going to get into!
I am sorry it took me two weeks to get this up, you are a beautiful, special and amazing little lady. I am so excited to be a part of your life and to watch you grow. You have filled our hearts with more love than we knew we had. I am so excited and privileged to be your Aunt!
Love you Scarlett Jeanne!
She arrived on March 14th in the afternoon just shortly after the UC game had started about 4:20, the UC game is important as mommy and daddy are big fans!
She is beautiful, already spoiled with love and is such a big part of our family. She is sweet with these cute chubby cheeks and when we do get to see her eyes open they are beautiful. She had the best room in the house at the hospital and what we consider the best nurse there to help us welcome her (thank you Nicole)! She carries a strong name and shares a name with a very special lady to our family.
Well, let the photos tell the story on her beauty.
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| Proud Papa and Big Sister |
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| Miss Scarlett and her Big Sister! |
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| Maggie welcoming Scarlett, they couldn't come to the hospital but Miss Jes made sure Scarlett knew they love her! |
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| Proud Aunt! |
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| This is a rough life and March Madness is too much to take! Hanging with Aunt Trina and Memaw Jo watching some basketball! |
Check out these amazing photos from her first ever photo shoot, Miss Kaleigh at Twenty Something Studios you did an AMAZING job capturing this little one, her love and the love her parents have for her. Just beautiful and the photos blew me away.
For now Miss Scarlett I can tell you that you are loved and that all of our kids cannot wait until you are old enough to run around with them and cause all sorts of trouble, but let's not grow up too fast. Aunt Trina is enjoying snuggling a baby once again.
Your big sister is an awesome big sister and I know she will take great care of you and teach you all sorts of things some of which will probably get you in trouble but that is okay, that is what big sisters are for, they show you the ropes. She definitely helps out mommy and daddy and has waited a long time to meet you and has had all of your gear ready for you before you were here. She was test driving the party transporter with her own baby dolls. It works well and is ready for your ride with your crazy cousins Whitney and Philly when you are but hold on tight, with those two you never know what you are going to get into!
I am sorry it took me two weeks to get this up, you are a beautiful, special and amazing little lady. I am so excited to be a part of your life and to watch you grow. You have filled our hearts with more love than we knew we had. I am so excited and privileged to be your Aunt!
Love you Scarlett Jeanne!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
In the blink of an eye...
Five years ago today, exactly today, I returned to work after having Caden and Maggie, my how time flies! I just cannot believe it. I know it goes fast, everyone has warned me and told me it goes fast, I have seen it with our younger cousins but until you live it you have no idea how fast it can go.
It is important to remember the journey thus far, and oh it has been a wonderful one in those five years!
Five years ago I had no idea if I could be a mom, wife and employee - it was a HARD adjustment but there is so much to learn when you push yourself to do the things you never think you can. There were many days were we headed off to work with no sleep but yet made it through, came home and held babies, got just a little more sleep than the night before and did it all again the next day. There were days when I was not sure I had on an outfit that made sense or shoes that matched and there was always spit up on my shirt. We learned how to sleep sitting up when holding Caden because he did not and still does not like to be in his bed by himself. We learned that you do not need to pack the house when you leave. We learned we can actually travel and enjoy the trip with these amazing little creatures which we created. We have learned that we have to take care of ourselves too to be at our best for them and that yes we are getting older. We have learned that our schedule was always going to change because these two little people were running the house and Matthew and I were just needed help at times.
We have learned so much from them: they teach you how to see people differently, you grow patience it may never be enough but I promise you it does grow, you learn what it is like to learn everything brand new and to see the world as a new and exciting adventure, you learn what it means to love someone than you ever knew you could love so much so that it hurts, you learn to forgive because remember a lot of what they are doing is learning and you learn that you are not a perfect parent but as long as you do your best they will turn into fine little people.
We hope: that we are doing things at least partly right in raising them all, that we are spending enough one on one time with them all, that we are teaching them what it means to be responsible for your actions, that they will understand that you get what you want when you work hard for it, that failure is okay - you will always learn something from failure, that you love your family because no matter what they are there for you and you will need them some day and most of all that they are just happy, healthy little kids and yes I even hope some days that they will stop growing and that I could freeze time but I cannot so we keep going.
It is important to remember the journey thus far, and oh it has been a wonderful one in those five years!
Five years ago I had no idea if I could be a mom, wife and employee - it was a HARD adjustment but there is so much to learn when you push yourself to do the things you never think you can. There were many days were we headed off to work with no sleep but yet made it through, came home and held babies, got just a little more sleep than the night before and did it all again the next day. There were days when I was not sure I had on an outfit that made sense or shoes that matched and there was always spit up on my shirt. We learned how to sleep sitting up when holding Caden because he did not and still does not like to be in his bed by himself. We learned that you do not need to pack the house when you leave. We learned we can actually travel and enjoy the trip with these amazing little creatures which we created. We have learned that we have to take care of ourselves too to be at our best for them and that yes we are getting older. We have learned that our schedule was always going to change because these two little people were running the house and Matthew and I were just needed help at times.
We have learned so much from them: they teach you how to see people differently, you grow patience it may never be enough but I promise you it does grow, you learn what it is like to learn everything brand new and to see the world as a new and exciting adventure, you learn what it means to love someone than you ever knew you could love so much so that it hurts, you learn to forgive because remember a lot of what they are doing is learning and you learn that you are not a perfect parent but as long as you do your best they will turn into fine little people.
We hope: that we are doing things at least partly right in raising them all, that we are spending enough one on one time with them all, that we are teaching them what it means to be responsible for your actions, that they will understand that you get what you want when you work hard for it, that failure is okay - you will always learn something from failure, that you love your family because no matter what they are there for you and you will need them some day and most of all that they are just happy, healthy little kids and yes I even hope some days that they will stop growing and that I could freeze time but I cannot so we keep going.
We push ourselves to do more, we learn more as we go and we continue to hope for the best.
It is what we do as parents and it is still more than I ever imagined myself doing so it gives me happy tears with a smile on my face and joy in my heart.
On this Valentine's Day I could not ask for a better present than my family - all 6 of us - and I could not imagine my life any other way shared with anyone else.
If you are a part of our journey I greatly appreciate you, thank you and love you all because this is one heck of a journey we are on and it is not one for the weak of heart, or who cannot handle a messy house!
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| My life now |
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| My life 5 years ago today |
Monday, February 4, 2013
Just a few more photos to share!
I finally was able to get the other photos to work that I wanted to post - and I even stole one from Eric - did I mention he is training for the Louisville IRONMAN in my last blog?
Check out Eric's blog about his journey (My Road to IRONMAN Louisville 2013) and support what he is doing if you can. I am pretty sure he will appreciate my kids getting up early on our next visit as it is one way to make sure he makes it to the early morning swim training sessions! I give him a ton of credit for what he is doing and think his wife is a saint for all of the time he is putting into the training - that is dedication on her part too, it is definitely a family journey!
Again, it was one fabulous weekend, we are now planning these quarterly and cannot wait for the next one. As far as Eric and his Ironman journey - we will be there cheering him on. What an amazing accomplishment he is working towards
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Check out Eric's blog about his journey (My Road to IRONMAN Louisville 2013) and support what he is doing if you can. I am pretty sure he will appreciate my kids getting up early on our next visit as it is one way to make sure he makes it to the early morning swim training sessions! I give him a ton of credit for what he is doing and think his wife is a saint for all of the time he is putting into the training - that is dedication on her part too, it is definitely a family journey!
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| Feeding these kids was quite fun! |
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| The Boys at Monster Jam! |
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| These two life long friends are the reason we all came together! |
Again, it was one fabulous weekend, we are now planning these quarterly and cannot wait for the next one. As far as Eric and his Ironman journey - we will be there cheering him on. What an amazing accomplishment he is working towards
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I am so grateful these two guys from a small little town brought some many wonderful people together and have created such amazing friends for life in all of us!
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